Everyone Wants to be Found

Last weekend I re-watched one of my favorite films, Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation. I first saw this film a few years ago when I was still in high school. I remember being so moved by the images of a crowded, loud, and bright Tokyo. I was caught up in the beauty of Scarlett Johansson and in the subtlety of Bill Murray. More than anything, I was enthralled with the story of those actors’ characters, Charlotte and Bob.

Charlotte is a twentysomething married woman who holds a degree in philosophy from Yale. Her husband is a photographer and she comes to Tokyo with him while he is working. Their marriage is in its early stages but is already seeing signs of decay. Her husband seems much more interested in work than in her. Charlotte calls a friend back home to talk about her feelings and the friend is completely oblivious to Charlotte’s pain. Charlotte is a hurting woman desperately longing to be seen.

Bob is an American actor who has lost his fame. He comes to Tokyo to shoot a whiskey commercial. He is married to a woman who is no longer impressed with him. With her, he has children who don’t seem especially impressed, either. When he speaks to his wife over the phone, she acts as if it’s an ordeal just to speak to him. She just wants his opinions on carpet samples but does not really want to hear his stories. This eventually drives him to turn away from her. Bob, like Charlotte, is simply drifting through life, just getting through and wanting connection.

The two find their connection in one another. They meet in the lounge of the hotel they’re both staying out and begin an interesting friendship. Friends is all these two ever are. Their relationship stays chaste and respectable. Bob is not above cheating on his wife, but he does not put Charlotte in that role. She is something else to him, and he is something else to her.

In each other, they find connection. Charlotte finds someone who listens to her and wants to spend time with her. Bob finds someone who enjoys his company and invites him into her life. They find in each other what they have been seeking, what they have been so desperate for.

When the film ends, we see how difficult it is for these two people to go their separate ways. Bob whispers something into Charlotte’s ear during their last goodbye and the audience does not get to hear what he says. In Robert Ebert’s review for this film, he said that by the end of the film, Bob and Charlotte have earned their privacy; what Bob said was meant for Charlotte’s ears only. Perhaps they were words only she could understand or appreciate.

As I finished watching the movie last weekend, I was struck by how deeply this story resonated in me this time around. Every time I have watched this movie I have felt something stir inside me but never had the stirring been so intense. Watching it, I was reminded of several things.

I was reminded that I have been Charlotte throughout my life’s most recent seasons. I have longed to be seen in ways that I never have before. I have been desperate for community, for real relationships, and for someone to hear my story but I have not actively sought any of those things. Like Charlotte with her self-help tapes, I have tried to solve things on my own in my own adventure. But that has yet to get me anywhere and the longing still remains.

I was also reminded how desperately people are made to need other people. The first time I watched Lost in Translation I thought about the idea that there are some moments in people’s lives where God allows someone else to enter in, however briefly, to remind one or both people that they are not alone, that they are seen.

One of the taglines for the film is “Everyone wants to be found.” That is such a short statement, but also a profound one. It is one that resonates deeply within me during this time in my life. It reminds me that I am not alone in my desires. It reminds me of the power of words, how five simple words put together can say something so reflective about humanity.

As I have sat thinking about this movie, my feelings, and how the two mesh, I keep going back to the ending, to the whisper between the two friends. I wonder if perhaps it is in whispers that we are found. I wonder if our “foundness” occurs in subtle moments, moments which might seem like nothing but could mean everything when viewed through the proper lens. While big events certainly shape us, it is who we are in the minute, ordinary moments of daily life that reveal who we are and what we want.

As I think about what Bob said to Charlotte, I think about what the whisper is for me. Who are my friends telling me I am? Who is my family saying I have become? What is God thinking when He sees my brokenness, my self-addiction? What are the whispers, where are the moments, and who are the people that can possibly change my path and my heart? I believe if those things and that person can appear in the lounge of a Tokyo hotel for two American strangers then they can appear anywhere, anytime, with anyone. If I truly do want to be found, I must open my eyes and fight for it.

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